In a World Other than Reality

"When I was 5 years old, my mom told me that happiness was the key to life.
When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”.
They told me I didn’t understand the assignment.
I told them they didn’t understand life."
– John Lennon

This is my all time favorite quote about life because I believe that deep down inside everyone wants to be happy yet why are so many people in the world unhappy? Not where they want filled with feeling of regret.

When we're a child we're not worried about feeling of happiness, unhappiness or regret. Not thinking before we act only being. Yet as you grow older you assume responsibilities. Tied down burdened by everything we're told that we have to do and life starts to become a chore and because:

- There are not enough hours in a day

- Because it raining

- Because its not raining
- Because my feet hurt

Coming up with all the excuses in the world and we suddenly start saying " I wish", "maybe" , "tomorrow" beaten down and slowly these words then become substituted by  "quit", "can't" but leading to feelings of regret. All the most stupidest excuses in the world blaming everything except the one thing that truly responsible. YOU. The problem wasn't the excuses, wasn't people holding you back, it was believing that they were correct. 

Every single time it comes back to single definitive thing...me.

I'm hate this feeling, I'm sick of waiting, Slowly 'm destroyed by the words "tomorrow", "wish" "dream" 

So slowly I will start to change starting now:

Not a to do list: A do now list, Timetable and hard work period.

Three things needed for success:

Great  Faith

Great Doubt

Great Efforts:

1. What you want
2. What's stopping you from getting what you want
3. And how to get what you want.

My pain is my power

I've lost the last thing that's held me back from being happy : My pride

I have nothing left to lose

Laser Beam focus starts now. I only have one reality tomorrow: Wake up 6am tomorrow morning training period.

Ticking away

There really isn't enough hours in a day....

1. Time for friends
2. Time for school
3. Time for study
4. Time for personal life
5. Time for blog
6. Time to fricking start headbanging on the this table!!!

But seriously I still haven't made my time table and there still are so many thing I still want to do and try to accomplish and I have my first HSC  yes guys again... HSC note the bold, italic, AND underline and thats in two weeks.
So I need to start trying to make a timetable and start getting everything done including: getting a study group, general study + for exams and plan out time for just chilling. Yes even just bumming around need to be planned as well.

So mood atm = ajkhdfkjhsadfkjhaskdjfhkjasdfhkjds. Yes i think that accurately expresses it. :L

Math = Headache

Why is math so hard? Constantly spending time and effort TRYING to solve equation after equation for hours on end just to get an incorrect answer or having little clue how to solve it.

Here I am fully pumped for a hard 3 hours day of study (cough* cough*) doing a bit of chem when I decide to do switch to math for the day. WORST MISTAKE OF MY DAY. Trying to solve differential calculus- maxima minima problems is a bitch trying to come up with the equations. Trying to work three questions only to fail miserably 1-2 hours later and that sad... very sad... moment just to have ur friend who does 4 unit math just to solve it in a matter of minutes. FML.

You know math must be a cruel and sick joke invented by teachers and tutors alike for the pain and suffering of their students and to make cash. Paying thousands of dollars each year just do go on an emotional roller and the biggest self esteem crusher known as math. Half this stuff we don't even really apply. Honestly people its not like you see a footy game when you see some small little asian run onto the field shouting "stop the match" flinging out his calculator from his pocket and shouting " i need to work out the trajectory of the ball, minus the air resistance... taking into account the distance* by pie r squared pathogoras trignometry...Zzzzzz and everyone falls asleep ...

So all in all math = sick joke created by teachers to take pleasure in torturing their student + to make cash + a complete time waster.

So as you can see in a not so good mood and my rant of the day about math....

Steve Terada

Since I'm just beginning my blog ima just introduce you to one of my HEROES.... STEVE TERADA !!!!!! (and the crowd goes wild pew pew lol)  Im not going to talk anymores how awesome he is since you probs already know him from quest so...i'll just let the video talk

Challenge Accepted Wendy > = ]

So here I am starting my blog which i REALLY need to add some photos into
too bad i dont take much photos oh wells.. but i digress...
ANYWAYS Wendy now challenged me to a 30 day challenge which includes:
 -send letter to several people, including the person that broke your heart the hardest.
seems easy enough :D and should get me blogging alot as well so... peoples expect alot of blogs and letters cause ima send alot .

P.S Really wish blogspot had some emoticons :( what website don't have any emoticons!!!

• Day 1 — Your Best Friend
• Day 2 — Your Crush
• Day 3 — Your parents
• Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
• Day 5 — Your dreams
• Day 6 — A stranger
• Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
• Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
• Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
• Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
• Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
• Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
• Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
• Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
• Day 15 — The person you miss the most
• Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
• Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
• Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
• Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
• Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
• Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
• Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
• Day 23 — The last person you kissed
• Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
• Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
• Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
• Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
• Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
• Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
• Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

New Term New beginnings

Here I am again, back where I started

Returning back to the usual meet and greet after the holidays as the feeling of nostalgia fills the air. Catching up with friends again... even though we met up in the holidays... each of us look back on the prelim year that has gone by and look forward to the next year and a bit that awaits us. 

The bell rings and we attend the usual line up as a lazy cloud hovering over to the stairs in front of the amphitheater due to a bad case of holiday sickness called CBF. Homeroom as usual is just a bunch of noise as you hear people talking about how frightening getting back our prelims will be and even worse how prepared/unprepared we all are for the HSC (for me the latter) while also finding out that retreat was next week and not week 3 like we had all thought.. since we don't listen to the announcements at line up....  notice the little detail of line up..

Looking forward to the retreat it is hyped up to be one the MEMORABLE, LIFE CHANGING experience of the year which is supposed to be a fun, exciting yet reflective experience as we leave our habitats and retreat into the wilderness to meditate at the Uniting Church Conference Centre at Elenora Height full of leeches and ticks (N2s: repellent) . Apart from the address, which i had to ask a friend for, i have absolutely no idea whats going to happen there cept about some ceremony called the Liturgy of Light where the teachers "shrink" ( as in see a shrink) us into facing reality making the whole year group cry as they get to watch. Thanks guys (Y) hope you enjoy it. 

Apart from the frantic  worrying about we must now prepare for the year ahead which includes: textbooks, folders, usual station stuff + wait for it guys... 3-4 hours of study per night .. F*ck..as well as my timetable which i really need to stop putting off. 

All in all the first week of term was just a bludge with no work being done cept receiving prelims which i could keep typing but now cbf so is a subject for another post.. if i feel like it as the next to weeks seem to be just the same as we wait for the HSC which is right around the corner